WHY DOES MY FRIDGE NEED TO HUM AT THE EXACT MOMENT I'M READY TO FILM?

I've been trying to make my first ~real video in more than a year. I've been trying since March. I gathered my lists, I made a plan, I wrote some scripts. I put on a bra, I fixed my hair, I set up the tripod, and I just couldn't press the big red button. I wanted to, and I couldn't.

(This is what mental illness feels like btw. You can have all the ambition in the world, but none of the action to back it up.)

Now it's June, and I'm trying again. I put on a bra, I fixed my hair, I set up the tripod, and as soon as I pressed the big red button, my fridge is, like, "HEY WHAT'S UP CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOME BACKGROUND WHITE NOISE?"

(oh no i think i made my dude feel bad. the fridge just shut up.)

I'm gonna go make a video now.