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My friends promised my birthday gift was coming. It would be worth it. It was just taking a little longer than expected.

Last week (my birthday is in December), it finally arrived.

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Hi, this is Alan Alda
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[audio transcript: Hi, this is Alan Alda. Jess has no interest in talking on the phone right now; probably listening to my podcast. But leave a message, and it's entirely possible you'll get a call back. Wait for the beep.]

You know I put this on my voicemail immediately. My grandma is gonna be so confused; she's the only person who calls me.

I've been watching Scientific American Frontiers, along with Murder She Wrote and the 1980s Perry Mason movies. Fully embracing my middle age, and it feels so good.

Hi, this is Alan Alda