Writing has been harder since I finished the book. In truth, it was hard before the deadline, too, which is why it took me so long to be done for real. Writing has always come in waves for me. I’ve worked through a lot of shame about not being a writer with a schedule, with a daily habit.
Even morning pages, which I’ve carried with me since 2010–they come and go.
Last week, I made my first YouTube video about exactly what I’ve learned from more than a decade of morning pages. I believe the practice is important, invaluable, but I also believe in taking a break.
Over the last few months, as I’ve been experimenting with live streams, with Reels, and now with YouTube, my writing has fallen aside as my main focus. I’m getting better at talking on camera–which doesn’t come as a complete surprise. My dayjob is talking in front of classrooms. And what is the internet if not a giant classroom?
It’s not like I don’t miss those heady days in 2020, when the writing came easily, when I loved sitting down to this newsletter. But I wouldn’t go back there for anything. Of course I wrote more in 2020; I had more time off. I was desperate for other people’s voices.
Today is my first Thursday off of the year. My students are taking a break, and the whole day is spread out in front of me now. There’s no prep, no teaching, no plans.
Except for this newsletter. I cherish this Thursday habit. I love writing a little update to you, then hearing back about what you think. What you’re working on, too.
Everything I put out into the world is a wish for connection, and I’m feeling it today.