2022.08.18

There’s something in the air. Two YouTube channels I follow recently posted videos about making friends. I recently had a breakdown in the group chat about making friends. We’re all reaching out for something.

My group chat came through for me, like I know they always will. We got each other this far through the pandemic, and we’re still here, every day, checking in, co-working over video chat, making plans for some tentative future. I know these two will have me when I fall.

Actually, that’s literally what happened back in March when I tripped and cut open my forehead. They were the first people I turned to.

But who will have me here at home? When I had that fall, I was an hour long bus ride away from my house (not counting the wait time). My parents were 25 minutes by car and the only people I could call.

I have people. I know they’ll be there. They’re just so far away. When I wish about a big piece of land, I wish for all my friends and family to have their own houses nearby, walkable. Far enough away to give me my own space, but close enough that we can get together to work and write, cook and eat.

Some day.

Until then, we make do with yearly trips, with video chat, with Slack. We make do. We mend ourselves.

I’m feeling maudlin this morning, and it might just be the weather. It’s a dreary grey day, and it might rain. Honestly, it’s welcome weather after the scorcher of a summer. I might not get the filming I was thinking about doing today, not with this light, but I sat down and I wrote this note to you.

And that makes me feel good. I hope you’re feeling good, too.

❤️‍🔥 Jess

PS Last time I sent a letter, I used a lyric from “Summer Lovin’” from Grease as the subject line. Olivia Newton-John died a few days later. Her song, “Physical,” was the number 1 song the day I was born. Connections, they’re all around us.

PPS Did I tell you about my latest video? It’s about how I’m exhausted, but I’m still making content because who am I if I’m not making something?