One of the resolutions on my 2019 list, one often on my mind, is “create a regular zine.” I claim to be bad with deadlines, but they’ve helped me in the past. I’ve made monthly, weekly, daily projects before.

Earlier this year, I planned a zine for each season, setting publication day on the equinox or solstice. But March was difficult, and I let the deadline pass me by.

While my current medication has helped with much of my everyday life, I’ve been struggling creatively. The other day, during the monthly check-in with my accountability group, I reported waning interest and motivation with daily blogging. It’s been since the end of September—six months now.

I’m ready for something bigger. But I don’t actually feel capable of doing it.

Today, however, I made a very small step forward. I figured out the layout to turn an 8-page mini-zine into one with 16 pages. I made a prototype; I drew a diagram.

I (think) I have a name. I haven’t set a deadline. But I’m closer to something than I was this morning.