Slowly, very slowly, I’m recreating my blog archives here on my new site. My first blog was on blogspot.com late in 2002. I remember when I started because I remember an early post on the first anniversary of 9/11. Though I moved around the internet in the years since, I’ve hung onto my archives. In plain text, so it’s a big data entry job to rebuild.
Right now, I’m copy/pasting my previously private entries from 750words.com, starting the summer of 2010. Slightly edited, but also, I’m trying to be OK with being vulnerable. I started my first retail job that August, and less than a year later, I picked up and moved to Halifax. Reading those entries again is tough.
But this is why I keep my archives. This is why I keep my notebooks. When it feels like nothing has changed, like I’m stuck in the same place, like I’ll never get to the place where I want to be, I can go back and remind myself how far I’ve come already.
I was 19 when I started first notebook; 20 when I started my first blog. I’m 37 now and reading posts I wrote when I was 28. I still don’t often feel like an adult, but I’m in a better place. I might almost be willing to call it a happier place.