Growing up, there was always noise in our house. I have two younger brothers. We played music constantly; a 5-disc CD player/radio/cassette player was my first big purchase.
But now, all I want is silence. By the end of my two-week stay at my parents’s house this December, I was going spare. The TV is always on.
I used to be able to live like that. Not anymore.
I didn’t quite know what I was doing when I started cleaning my house this January. But what I’ve been searching for is silence. Not only aural, but visual.
A few months ago, I decided to limit my wardrobe. Everything I own now fits a colour palette: black, white, grey, navy blue. Everything goes together. It’s fewer decisions. It’s silence in my brain.
My mind is always going. I used to think it was because I’m smart. It’s because my brain doesn’t work properly.
I hope this silence will help it heal.