It’s been seven months on this medication, and my doctor has decided it’s time to call in a specialist. So hopefully in the next few weeks, I will get to see a psychiatrist, and maybe they will know better what I need. I am taking the antidepressant that is branded Effexor, but the generic obviously.

It’s been working. I’ve had moments when I can see what my life could be. I’ve had moments when I can feel that something is happening. But I can’t hang onto those moments. They are fleeting and gone too soon.

When I look back at last week’s blog posts, I can feel the optimism in those words. I really thought that things were getting better, and that this dosage was going to work. But this week has not been the same.

I know that treating depression is not about getting rid of bad moments and bad feelings. Always feeling good is not normal, the same way that always feeling bad is not normal. But a little bit of balance would be nice.

I would hope that’s not too much to ask for.