2014.09.19

lief
adverb: Willingly; gladly; readily.
adjective: 1. Dear, beloved. 2. Willing.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to write about writing. Again. Because this is what writers do. We are completely incapable of not writing about writing because we do it every day, all the days of our life, and we haven’t figured it out yet. It’s still hard. It’s still work. It’s still a blank page and an uncomfortable chair and time away from a good book or something on our phone. I don’t want to write, but I love having written. I feel good when I check my word count at the end of a session and see 2,000. How did that happen? I don’t remember that happening. It didn’t feel like two thousand words. It didn’t even feel like an hour.

But when you put in the time and the work, when you build the habit and let your fingers go, great things happen. Like poems and essays and short stories and books. Over the last week, I’ve finished and submitted one short story, completed two more to collect into a new book, and today I started on the third. This weekend, I’ll finish it, and then I’ll start writing the next story I’m planning for someone else’s anthology. I’ve written more words faster this month that at any other point in my entire life. I can say that with authority, even though I’ve only been tracking words since 2012. I can say that because it’s never felt like this before. I’ve never felt like this before, doing anything! Not just writing! And I’m terrified it’s going to go away. Every routine I’ve managed to eke out of my broken brain has stopped working at one point, not too far down the road. I desperately don’t want this feeling to stop, and I don’t know what to do.