2013.05.10

it’s just after 9. i’m sitting up in bed to write this. i’ve brushed my teeth. here’s how today is going to go. i’m going to write here for 10 minutes. i’m going to take my computer downstairs, make breakfast and eat breakfast while listening to roderick on the line–the episode i started last night. i’m going to do laundry and clean out the litter box. i’m going to take a shower. i’m going to get dressed and sit down to write, at least two ten minute sessions. then i’m going to read the internet for an hour. after that, i might try another two ten minute writing sessions, or i might go for a walk around the block. this is why i’m down here. i’m supposed to be exploring a new neighbourhood.

i don’t know if i could live down here. that’s a weird thing to discover about myself. is it me at this moment or is it me that’s freaked out by how many people there are, always, around? there were never this many people on the streets in halifax. but there are always too many people on commercial drive. i think about this, and i wonder about the rest of the world. there are exponentially more people in la and new york and even sf, and i can barely handle vancouver. i think edmonton could be a good thing. i can almost picture myself there now. somewhere not here, which is sad, but an inevitable truth. i don’t think this city is for me anymore.

(of course, i will always be a canucks fan. it doesn’t matter where i move, that will never change.)

i need to check the dates when chris and sandy are coming home. i probably need to do a big house clean this weekend, although i’ve kept up with the worst of it.

i’ve written more words this month, because i’m on a good track so far with 20 days to go. but i can write more. i should be writing more. i should stop comparing myself to other people. chuck wendig cranks out 3k a day, which is insane, and also he has a toddler. i’m struggling with a thousand words right now. but i’m writing myself into shape. i’m writing myself to a place where i can write a short story in one week, a short novella in two, and a whole book in a month. a book a month! can you even imagine?