today is already not a good day. i couldn’t get out of bed at 8. i went back to sleep until almost 11. now i’m up, and i’m going to write here for 10 minutes and get everything out of my brain so i can write another 2k words on the current story and get it done before the deadline. i’m also going to have breakfast in there, ideally before i start writing. i haven’t eaten anything yet. i should make some tea. i didn’t go for a walk last night because i was watching the hockey game. but also because i think there are too many people. there are always so many people on these streets, no matter what time it is. i might go early evening, maybe even before dinner. it also got very dark very fast.
i’m really fucked up, and i keep thinking that if i just keep writing, everything will be ok. but that’s not true.
i need to figure out something to write about on the blog today. yesterday, i wrote about the canucks, which is always a good one. today, maybe i’ll write about the sun.
After an April which has lived up to its reputation and rained more than not, May has been beautiful. Sun every day, and barely a cloud. Yet I haven’t been out there to enjoy it. I’ve been writing. I spent most of yesterday doing the final readthrough. It really doesn’t matter how many times I edit before I get the proof, I will always find something to change in the proof.