I have just enough time to write something if I don’t stop writing. I don’t quite know what I want to write about tonight, but I missed last night because I was unexpectedly exhausted, and I spent all day today watching Olympics and reading Teen Wolf and not doing much of anything, so now I have just enough time to write 750 words, so long as I can keep up this pace. Usually, it takes me about 15 minutes to get to word count, and I have 19 today. I have less than that now, and I haven’t even reached 100 words yet.
OK, there it is. I can move on to the next paragraph. I’m almost tempted to make this paragraph all about Teen Wolf. In particular, all about Derek and Stiles, which, I must admit, is my new fandom. I just wish the fic were better. I wish I could read a story without skimming, but nothing is get stuck in my head. I just want to go back and keep rereading the one where Derek is the Sheriff’s new deputy and hopelessly in love with Stiles and Stiles doesn’t notice that they’re dating until he’s been marked and hickeyed.
I don’t think that’s a real word, but it probably should be. It’s funny. That story has a kind of B-plot mystery, but it never actually gets solved. It’s all a McGuffin, and I didn’t even mind it. I honestly didn’t care. I just needed some kind of plot to keep the story moving forward. I wish I could write like that. I wish I had those kinds of ideas. I have character ideas. I don’t have story ideas. I’m trying harder, but getting nowhere. I want to write the Shakespeare thing, but I feel like I need to write it as an adaptation, and if I was going to do that, it would have to be Romeo and Juliet, which I love more than anything.
But it’s been done. It’s actually been done to death. And it’s been done so well, by Baz Luhrmann, by Private Romeo. I don’t feel the need to rewrite that story. As I think about it now, I don’t think a Beatrice and Benedick has ever been done. I don’t think they’ve ever been transferred to a younger age group. I really do seriously need to write this as not-high school kids, though, because I still want to submit to Carina.
I’ve realised I don’t care what one author says about their experience. Besides the money, it sounds good anyway. And I love their covers and their website and they just seem more professional than all the other ebook publishers put together. I also really like that they do straight and gay romances, that they do contemporary, as well as all the rest. I don’t feel like I would be limited to one type of story. Most importantly, they want all book lengths. My first goal is to write something 20k for them.
Before or after I finish Human Events, I don’t know. I don’t know where I’m going with that thing. I could so easily submit that to Carina, too. With whatever word count it ends up. I like Carina because I know that I could write anything for them. I just need to get my foot in the door. Then I think I’ll be able to let myself relax and just write. My biggest problem right now is that I’m not getting paid for anything I make. Once I get on a track, I think my brain will unclench a little.
I have, right now, three things I want to write and finish, hopefully by the end of the year. I want to finish Human Events, even if it means changing the POV. I want to finish the Shakespeare thing, even if it means switching the genders. I want to write a super-quick hipster wedding novella, even if I do it during NaNo. I want to do NaNo this year for real. I want to get settled into a routine with Sophie and start cranking out a zine a week. I want to type up some essays and send them out to magazines.
I want to keep up this habit, even if I’m exhausted at the end of the night and feel like I have nothing to say. Because I do have something to say. I have a lot to say, and I need to figure out a way to say it to the world instead of to myself.