2010.11.10

(This post was originally written on 750words.com. It has been edited.)

I am a master procrastinator. Even when I have no time, working 40 hours a week, plus the commute, I still manage to fill my free time with something other than writing. I wanted to be writing 2000 words a day. I’m barely managing a thousand. I mean, I’m writing my 750 here, but they’re never real words. They’re never words I can use. I suppose that’s the difference between me and most people doing NaNo. I want to write 50k good words, and words that are all part of one thing. I don’t want to write 50k random words. I want them to be good. I want them to work together. I want to have something like a novel at the end of the month. I hope I get my 50k words.

But I have to keep going beyond November, that’s obviously clear. But I’m going to write a novel. I’m going to have something by the end of the year. It’s just that I’m distracted. And it’s funny, because I’m not reading a ton. I deleted almost all the blogs I follow. I’m not checking LJ. I don’t have a daily soap anymore. I’m watching Sports Night, which came out of nowhere, really. No, that’s not true. This sudden need to rewatch came from NaNo. I needed something to procrastinate with while I’m writing this thing. I’m just not using it in the right way. I’m not watching an episode then writing a thousand words. Or writing a thousand words then watching an episode. I’m just watching episodes. It’s all still character stuff, but I love character stuff. And I really like these characters. Why am I having problems?

I just need to write more. It’s true. I just need to write more because then I learn more. I know there’s a lot of stuff in there already that’s incongruent. And that bothers me, in the back of my head, I can feel that things aren’t smooth. I’m trying not to let it bother me. I’m trying to push forward. I’m just not pushing very hard. That’s what I need to work on. So I have Scrivener open, and I’m poking at the scenes, and I’m adding words here and there. I’m trying to add more description. I always need more description. I kind of hate adjectives. I really hate adverbs. But that doesn’t mean I’m excused from ever drawing an image for the reader. Yes, they can imagine things themselves. Yes, that’s what reading is all about. But the writer is allowed to give them a helping hand.