2010.10.17

(This post was originally written on 750words.com. It has been edited.)

I have a little more time on Sundays. Or rather, it’s not that I have more time, it’s that I got into work later, but still get up at the same time. So it feels like I have more time because I’m awake for more. But I still have to get ready and go to work. Ugh. I just want to sit at home and read and write all day. Is that so wrong? How can I make that work for me? I haven’t figured it out yet. Mostly, I don’t have the money. Which is why writing this novel is so important. And it’s so important that I sell it to an actual publisher, not an e-publisher.

Sure, it’ll feel great that I sold something and that it’s published, but they just don’t have the money to offer me for my work. They don’t have the budget or the reach. I want my book to be as big as it can be. Of course I have big dreams for it, but they’re also realistic. I’m OK with selling the first book and that’s it. It doesn’t have to be made into a movie. (But how cool would that be?) All I want is an audience of readers that want more. A publisher that wants to give me a contract. A nice big advance on the next book that’ll allow me to quit my day job and work on the writing. Or maybe buy a house. That’d be nice. OK, maybe my dreams are a little too big. First I have to write the thing. And I have to get up and get dressed very soon, so I should type faster.

I have to get to know these characters a little better. They’re a bit of a mystery so far. So, if I’m going to write this thing, I need to get a lot done before November starts. I have a really good start on my list of scenes. But now I need to expand my character profiles. I have them started in notes. I have birthdays and parents’s names, but I need more. The more I work on the characters, the better I’ll be able to figure out the scenes. Because I’ll know what each character does in each situation. That’s the best way to write. To give it over to characters.

Of course, readers will still disagree with me, the way I disagree with Stargate Atlantis about John Sheppard. I know everything about him because I’ve seen all the same episodes. So I don’t understand how someone can believe something about him that to me seems so out of character. I do agree that he’s not good at talking about his feelings. But all those people who have these weird ideas about him being a robot–metaphorical or not. I don’t know. I just know that For Flanigan is like me in that we don’t like sci-fi and fantasy. I am not a geek. I have never claimed to be a geek. But I am a nerd. I have weird obsessions about things. It’s just that the things I have weird obsessions about are not sci-fi and fantasy things. That’s really the only difference. I’m weird and obsessive about Shakespeare and literature and mid-century design and American modernist literature and words and writing and paper books that you can actually hold in your hand. I want to put all of that in my novel.