2010.10.15

(This post was originally written on 750words.com. It has been edited.)

I want to try something tonight. I’m just going to put my head down and right. Partly, I have this pounding headache and I really need to sleep BUt I alwaso want to practice for Nano. I want to know that I can type and write without fraking out about spelling and punctuation and grammar. I know I’m making mistakes already, but I’m trying not to care. It’s almost instinctual these days, the way my finger goes for the backspace button. I just did it twice there. I couldn’t stop myself. It’s like another acto f breathing. It’s like breathing, is what I really meant there. But I want to know that I can just write. That’s what Nano is supposed to be about. Not worrying. Just writing. You can’t worry about the little things. It’s just the words. So I’m staring at my fingers on the keyboard and typing. I’m not looking at the screen. Actually, I’m staring at the T button. Actually, I could try doing this with my eyes closed. Because I know where the keys are. I can touch type, and it wasn’t typing caass that taught me. It was years on computers and a life spent on the internet. I got to be very fast. As long as I know what I’m typing, I can power through it. I just don’t know what I’m typing for Nano. I don’t understand why plot is so hard. I had kind of hoped that the hard part of this novel would be the rewriting of it. ABut I think it’s in the planning. I have great characters. I’m still getting to kknow them, a ittle, but there there. I have some scenes, but what I don’t have is a really clear sense of the story. I’ve doe a little freewriting about it, but I think I need to do a lot more. I think, from now until November, I need to use my seven fifty words as pre-Nano exercises. Just pick a character and a moment and write a scene. I need a lot more scenes. I haven’t filled up my spreadsheet yet. I need to figure out if I want a real subplot.