(This post was originally written on 750words.com. It has been edited.)

It’s coming up to the deadline once again. Once again, I’ve put this off until the absolute last minute. I know I can write 750 words in less than 15 minutes. They’re just not very good words. They’re words, but are they really sentences? They’re sentences, but are they really paragraphs? It’s not exactly great literature I’m writing here. I’m just typing. Spewing, really. That’s why I liked doing it in the morning. It’s a chance to just blurt, get some stuff out, to make room for the good words. It’s like warming up with stretches before doing the real exercise.

It’s also coming up to the beginning of November. I’m committed. I’m going to do NaNo, but I’m still not sure I can actually win. I’ve never done 50,000 words of anything. I know I can get almost halfway there. But even that, the last time I did that was more than a year ago now. Jeez. I can’t believe it’s been that long already. So this venture is basically brand new. It’s a challenge. It’s an exercise in do I have what it takes to be a writer. I’m really not sure. What I want to write and what the world seems to want to read are very different things. And the way I write. I don’t know. I’ve never known where I belong, in terms of writing and in terms of life.

But let’s figure out the writing first. Maybe the rest of my life will neatly fall into place afterwards. Let’s hope. The story is chugging along. I didn’t add anything significant today. Yet. I’ll try to think up some more scenes before I fall asleep. Thirty scenes of about 1700 words. It’s like doing thirty prompts. Or maybe 15 prompts of half that, and do two a day. I do predict that making word count will be easier if I split the work up. I know I can sit down, or lay down in bed, as the case may be, and type 750 words in about 13 minutes. But I don’t yet know how long it’s going to take me to write 1700 words where it actually matters. Where I have to be coming up with ideas as I’m writing. That’s what takes the time.

The scenes I have right now are basic. I don’t have an arc. I have a point of view character, but I don’t know what happens to him. I have a lot of stuff to figure out before I start writing. But that’s OK. I have more than half a month. And then I have the whole month of writing to change things if they don’t work out. Hopefully, they do. Hopefully, I have a novel at the end of this craziness.

I didn’t really get credit for the writing I did yesterday. The server was doing crazy things again. More than half my misses since I started 750 words have been because of the site not saving properly. There was even one night where I wrote past the word count, saved it, went to bed, then woke up to see barely 300 words had been saved. So, out of spite, I’m using most of my words from yesterday today. I don’t know how many of them saved yesterday, but it doesn’t matter because it was less than 750 words. After a certain point, there was just no point in writing, because it wasn’t saving. That’s the problem with the cloud. You can’t rely on it because you can’t control it.

So I won’t be writing NaNo here. Well, that’s not true. I will, but I won’t be saving it here. I’ll be cutting and pasting into a gdoc at the end of every session. I could just use this space as an entry field. It’s nice and clean and counts the words as you go along. I can use it even beyond my 750 words. I’ve already got the undistracted badge. I don’t need to worry about long pauses. Because there will be long pauses. I can’t write as fast as I can type. I don’t understand people who equate the two. For me, typing speed doesn’t not equal words per day. Sure, I can type 750 words in twelve minutes. But I need some more time to put together sentences that are good and grammatically correct and have style and substance.