2010.08.04

(This post was originally written on 750words.com. It has been edited.)

I want to keep writing the stories how I’ve been writing. In little bits. But little bits with the thought in the back of my mind that maybe they can be joined up seamlessly and make one big story. I don’t think it quite works with what I have now, but that’s OK. Like, it’ll work out in the end. It always does.

What I haven’t decided is where to post them. To LJ, to DW, to the comm, move the comm to DW, or just on the AO3. There are so many options right now, and I’m thinking about it too much for someone who doesn’t care about feedback.

It’s funny. I say I don’t care about feedback, and I don’t think people actually believe. I really don’t care. I write for me, first and foremost. I write what I like, what I love, what I want to read. If other people like, love, want to read it, too, that’s awesome. I don’t deny how awesome that feels when someone reads your work and loves it enough to leave a comment. But I don’t despair. You can’t. I have a thick skin for everything except actual negative comments. Some people say that something is better than nothing, and I do agree that at least your work makes somebody care enough to be mean about it, but I can handle nothing better than something.

I don’t attract a lot of attention anyway. I never really have, I just happened to stumble upon a group of people that did. It’s like I got caught in the crossfire. I do so much and never seems to even ripple the water. It makes me laugh at least. At the end there, we were wailing, What do we have to do? I still don’t know what I have to do, but I know what I want to do.

Right now, I have a list, I have what I’ve already written, I have a handful of ideas, and I have a little bit of dialogue. Nothing much.