2010.07.30

(This post was originally written on 750words.com. It has been edited.)

This is something new. The manifesto-type explanation on the front page of this site sounds so much like me, it’s a little scary. I’ve tried daily writing again and again. I’ve tried pen and paper, dedicated notebooks, egg timers, schedules. I’ve tried Livejournal and Wordpress and Tumblr, and nothing has stuck. It’s lasted a month or two, but never longer. I love going back and reading what I’ve written, but I’ve never loved it while I’ve been in it. So. This is something new.

I love the interface. It’s perfectly clean and uncluttered. It’s dedicated to one task without distraction. I don’t have to think about the stuff under the hood. Just write. I like it even more than Write or Die, and I liked that a lot when I finally tried it out and wrote more than 500 words in 16 minutes. I like this. I could see myself living here.

Inspired by Morning Pages, and you know how much I hate those. Not the idea behind them, but the way stuff like that gets packaged. “How to be creative.” This is simple. This is inspired by, but not that. I don’t even feel the need to wait until August 1st for symmetry’s sake. I’m going to start now, July 30th, and work from there because nothing worth doing is worth waiting to start.

I need a place just to think out loud. That’s what’s missing. Ever since I finished school, I haven’t had that structure and distraction that led to so much writing. I also switched away from my big notebooks that I could actually spread out and write in to the tiny ones just for jotting notes. Jotting is good, but not if it never gets out of the notebook.

The biggest problem I’m seeing in my writing right now is actually a direct result of not having a place to ramble. My stories are all narrative these days. No scenes, or, at least, not enough for my liking. When a story is too much narrative, it’s too inside the head. Not enough image and sound and action. Because what I’m doing is I’m working out the story as I’m writing the story. I’m writing backstory that the reader doesn’t need to know, simply because I have nowhere else to put it for myself. I’m still working it out for myself.

Today, on Write or Die, the first time I’ve tried it out, I wrote one thousand words in two sittings. One thousand words of one story, even. But I deleted all of them immediately afterward. What I was really doing was thinking out loud. Once I finished that, I could write the actual story, and I got a couple of hundred words, too.

Now I can put that rambling here. I have so much in my head that I want to write. I have a list of actual deadlines, and some short story ideas. I have something that could be a romance novella, maybe novel (but let’s starts with a novella). I have fandom, which I don’t want to let go of completely, but which I’m so disappointed with right now.

People will find it if they’re looking for it, and, honestly, that’s always been all right with me. I should care more, but I learned one thing from my years in fandom, and that’s it. People find what they’re looking for. I just want to write without the baggage fandom carries. I want to write for me, but it’s always nice to know other people read it.

Fandom is how I trained myself to write for so long, that I often wonder if that’s how I need to write original stuff, too.